I have been an avid Final Fantasy player, even though I wasn't playing it from the original. You may have read, in past blogs, about my distaste for FFX2. Unfortunately, a new, and even worse failpion has arrived: FFXIII.
Backtrack just a second here. FFXII wasn't exactly...amazing. It was easy, story wasn't too impressive, but it wasn't as bad as X2. However, the new installment is even worse. It makes the adventures of the bimbo trio seem like a work of art.
First of all, let me admit, I've only played three hours in. There is a reason for this. Many people have told me, well, you like FFXI, and that's Jcrap too! Jcrap is my new nickname for XIII, in case you haven't noticed.
Let me set these people straight. To me, FFXI isn't "Final Fantasy." It's called FF, but in my mind it's an MMO that I enjoy playing with my friends. Yes, it has potions, mages, and chocobos, but for me, it's a separate entity from the FF franchise.
FF13 though...what more can I say but..it's linear. There is no sense of adventure. In the beginning, you are thrust into different character roles, the same general area, but slightly different stories. You have no control over the situation, nor can you control any other character except the leader.
Bo-ring.
To make it easier, they have added the "auto-attack" function, which lets lazy gamers become even LAZIER, by simply hitting the button and letting the game figure out the best things to do for that specific battle.
This linear bit is atrocious. Final Fantasy, although sometimes throwing you into situations you can't get out of, was always an adventure to me. You had a map, and it showed you where to go, but you didn't always have to go there. Sometimes weird, obscure little towns were on the far edges of the map, and you could go there for fun, to get new items or equipment, or just to see some silly cutscenes. XIII doesn't even have towns. No, you get a map, it shows you where to go, and sometimes, SOMETIMES, there is a single treasure ORB around, but it's in a very obvious place, and generally contains 50 gil. Wow.
Back to this, FFXIII doesn't have towns CRAP. What. The. Hell. Why didn't they have towns? Because it was too hard to do in HD. Too hard, on a game they spent years creating. Well, what were they working on?
I know the answer, and it isn't the game. It's...get ready for this..
...Cutscenes and FMVs!
In the three hours I have played, 85% of my time has been stuck in cutscenes or watching FMVs. When it isn't doing that, I am running a character through an obvious and linear map, avoiding enemies if I want to. Yeah, everyone bitched about random battles, but what would FF be without them?
Crap.
Let me introduce, FFXIII!
Most of the FF team is gone. Uematsu, who has done at least SOMETHING for every other FF, is GONE. The music in this game is atrocious. No prelude, no victory fanfare. I feel like the battle music throws me into a time-space continuum, with crappy music. To me, horrible score.
Around the two and a half hour mark, I fell into a cutscene. Then another. Then it asked to save my game. Then another CS. Oh, one more. THEN, I got to run my character down a slope. But..wait, what is that at the bottom?
Another cutscene! Twenty+ minutes of cutscene and three seconds of actually character movement.
It was after this instance that I put the controller down. I didn't save my game, I simply put it down and shut off the PS3. Never in my gaming career have I put down a Final Fantasy game. Not for X2, not for XII. Yes, I suppose I have put it down cause I had to sleep, or I was tired of trying a boss. Not for XIII. I put the controller down, and I haven't picked it up in 6 days.
I really don't have any intention of doing so, either.
FFXIII has made me dislike what FF has become. It marks the end of an era for me, in a way. The point at which Katy puts down a FF game out of pure dislike is the point at which it has died.
R.I.P., Final Fantasy. December 18, 1987-March 17, 2010.
Gamerscore: 1/10 (the one comes from the little chocobo in the afro. ridiculous idea, cute bird.)
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Donkey Kong Country 12,3 and Rabbit Rampage Just For Me!
(First of all, Rabbit Rampage is a game for the SNES that stars Bugs Bunny. I understand it wasn't that mainstream, yet I Know four people who owned it.)
This post is going to gush awesome, because it's all about the DKC games for the SNES. Yes, another blog about the SNES. Why? Come on, if the SNES doesn't deserve kudos, then what does? Certainly not the Dreamcast....
I know I've said before my first gaming experience was the Donkey Kong SNES pack, complete with palm tree decorated box (which I still have, at my mother's house). Since it was my first, it holds a special place in my heart, which is only shared with Zelda64.
What can I say about DKC? It was a challenge and it pissed you off. A lot of games now just lack that horrible, headache-inducing, teeth-gritting, goat-slaying challenge that old systems and games had. Nowadays, if you decide that the boss is too tough, chances are you can just randomly switch difficulties and finish him off on an easier mode. I will confess now to playing some games on easy mode, but this is generally so I get a feel for it if it is something I am unfamiliar with.
Not Donkey Kong. My cousins and I logged some serious hours trying to beat certain levels in that game. We didn't even use the 99 lives cheat, because the closest thing we had to Internet then was WebTV (that should be its own blog someday). Months of childhood went to trying to beat such levels as "Platform Perils" and "Elevator Antics". However, as challenging as it was, the blood, sweat and tears brought me closer to my cousins than a lot of people are to their own siblings. Together, the 3 (sometimes 4) of us went through frustrations that only gamers can truly understand.
Who has ever thrown a controller in frustration? Yes, I saw everyone's hand go up in the air. It was always the game's fault, or the system's fault, or perhaps the controller was not "working properly". Mostly likely, in the case of DKC, your timing wasn't perfect to the second and you missed a vine, or you slid down a snowy hill because even in video game land, there is no traction in a blizzard.
Pets. You got to have animal allies in a few levels. This is an awesome concept, and for the most part it was useful and let you fly, ram into, or stab enemies by the dozens. As cool as the stabbing may sound after a rough day, the animal ally who was capable of it was not so.
Yes, Engarde, I am talking about your wide-eyed, swordfish buns.
Engarde was an awesome blue swordfish with a huge..sword...fish..nose. Perfect to skewer underwater kremlins with, right? Too bad it's an example of idea and practice not being on the same page. This ally was just a pain in the butt, because you could charge up his sword attack and definitely get some baddies in the process, but he was set up to maneuvering was difficult and the charge attack was near unstoppable, which meant if the baddies moved, the fish got flushed down the porcelain bowl.
DKC 1 for the SNES: 9/10 (Engarde, you bastard, you ruined it)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest. I was SO excited when I heard this was coming out! I loved playing as Diddy in the first one, and now he had a sidekick all his own, a girl monkey named Dixie! Actually, she didn't have a tail so I am thinking she was an ape...but I digress.
I actually picked up this game the day it came out. It was so cool, not only did I have two awesome characters, but the environment and theme for this game was PIRATES. The first level took place on a pirate ship! If I thought DKC had me hooked, I was wrong. DKC2 nabbed me and practically puppeteered*** my existence for a few months, at least.
Dixie had a helicopter spin, and Diddy did cartwheels! AWESOME.
Not only was this game entertaining, it was also even more frustrating than the first title. How is that possible? Bramble levels. Bramble levels with an animal ally who was not only hard to control, but who spit eggs or rocks at enemies, but had to be rightnexttothem to have any effect whatsoever.
You, Squawks. The Macaw-type bird who was somehow strong enough to carry two monkeys (possibly one ape) through a maze of brambles and still manage to be alive afterward. Don't get me wrong, I love birds, and Squawks even made one appearance in DKC1; however, the mechanics of this ally were horrible. Brambles all over meant you couldn't touch ANYTHING, yet you still had to maneuver not only through that environment, but also around enemies, some of which you couldn't kill with the macaw rock-egg attack.
This game had some of the most difficult levels I have experienced in my whole gaming career, and to this day they give me trouble.
DKC2: 9/10. I just can't give perfect 10s.
I don't even want to talk about DKC3, but for the sake of the blog I will. To me, DKC3 was a game I played with high hopes, and only because it was a DK title. More recent version of this would be playing FFX2 because it's an FF game, or FF13 for the same reason.
I got DKC3 and started playing. Dixie was back but...oh no, Diddy was gone! In his place was Dixie's lumbering idiot of a cousin, Kiddy. Who, although similar to Donkey in his weight and actions, was one of the most annoying video game characters I have encountered to date, save for Rinoa from FF8.
He's a big, fat ape baby in a onesie, and when he dies he cries this horrible cry. The only good thing he can do is break things and throw Dixie up in the air. Awful.
The other fault I have with this game is not the difficulty, because it was plenty horrible (Lightning Look-Out strike fear in the hearts of anyone?) and posed enough of a challenge to keep that part of me sated. However, the cutesy, almost bumbling, aura given off of this game was displeasing. Yes, DK games are meant to be silly and cartoon-like, but this one almost pushed the limits. I am not sure if it was because of the changing graphics of games (by this point, both the N64 and the PS1 had launched) but something about the game was no longer crisp. Crisp is the best word I can use to describe how I feel about it.
DKC3: 6/10. Challenging, but that didn't make up for the fail. Banana birds? Come on....
Thus concludes my DKC discussion.
***puppeteered: analogy that something controls your life so much, it is as if the thing has its imaginary (usually) hand up your ass and is keeping tabs on your every move.
This post is going to gush awesome, because it's all about the DKC games for the SNES. Yes, another blog about the SNES. Why? Come on, if the SNES doesn't deserve kudos, then what does? Certainly not the Dreamcast....
I know I've said before my first gaming experience was the Donkey Kong SNES pack, complete with palm tree decorated box (which I still have, at my mother's house). Since it was my first, it holds a special place in my heart, which is only shared with Zelda64.
What can I say about DKC? It was a challenge and it pissed you off. A lot of games now just lack that horrible, headache-inducing, teeth-gritting, goat-slaying challenge that old systems and games had. Nowadays, if you decide that the boss is too tough, chances are you can just randomly switch difficulties and finish him off on an easier mode. I will confess now to playing some games on easy mode, but this is generally so I get a feel for it if it is something I am unfamiliar with.
Not Donkey Kong. My cousins and I logged some serious hours trying to beat certain levels in that game. We didn't even use the 99 lives cheat, because the closest thing we had to Internet then was WebTV (that should be its own blog someday). Months of childhood went to trying to beat such levels as "Platform Perils" and "Elevator Antics". However, as challenging as it was, the blood, sweat and tears brought me closer to my cousins than a lot of people are to their own siblings. Together, the 3 (sometimes 4) of us went through frustrations that only gamers can truly understand.
Who has ever thrown a controller in frustration? Yes, I saw everyone's hand go up in the air. It was always the game's fault, or the system's fault, or perhaps the controller was not "working properly". Mostly likely, in the case of DKC, your timing wasn't perfect to the second and you missed a vine, or you slid down a snowy hill because even in video game land, there is no traction in a blizzard.
Pets. You got to have animal allies in a few levels. This is an awesome concept, and for the most part it was useful and let you fly, ram into, or stab enemies by the dozens. As cool as the stabbing may sound after a rough day, the animal ally who was capable of it was not so.
Yes, Engarde, I am talking about your wide-eyed, swordfish buns.
Engarde was an awesome blue swordfish with a huge..sword...fish..nose. Perfect to skewer underwater kremlins with, right? Too bad it's an example of idea and practice not being on the same page. This ally was just a pain in the butt, because you could charge up his sword attack and definitely get some baddies in the process, but he was set up to maneuvering was difficult and the charge attack was near unstoppable, which meant if the baddies moved, the fish got flushed down the porcelain bowl.
DKC 1 for the SNES: 9/10 (Engarde, you bastard, you ruined it)
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest. I was SO excited when I heard this was coming out! I loved playing as Diddy in the first one, and now he had a sidekick all his own, a girl monkey named Dixie! Actually, she didn't have a tail so I am thinking she was an ape...but I digress.
I actually picked up this game the day it came out. It was so cool, not only did I have two awesome characters, but the environment and theme for this game was PIRATES. The first level took place on a pirate ship! If I thought DKC had me hooked, I was wrong. DKC2 nabbed me and practically puppeteered*** my existence for a few months, at least.
Dixie had a helicopter spin, and Diddy did cartwheels! AWESOME.
Not only was this game entertaining, it was also even more frustrating than the first title. How is that possible? Bramble levels. Bramble levels with an animal ally who was not only hard to control, but who spit eggs or rocks at enemies, but had to be rightnexttothem to have any effect whatsoever.
You, Squawks. The Macaw-type bird who was somehow strong enough to carry two monkeys (possibly one ape) through a maze of brambles and still manage to be alive afterward. Don't get me wrong, I love birds, and Squawks even made one appearance in DKC1; however, the mechanics of this ally were horrible. Brambles all over meant you couldn't touch ANYTHING, yet you still had to maneuver not only through that environment, but also around enemies, some of which you couldn't kill with the macaw rock-egg attack.
This game had some of the most difficult levels I have experienced in my whole gaming career, and to this day they give me trouble.
DKC2: 9/10. I just can't give perfect 10s.
I don't even want to talk about DKC3, but for the sake of the blog I will. To me, DKC3 was a game I played with high hopes, and only because it was a DK title. More recent version of this would be playing FFX2 because it's an FF game, or FF13 for the same reason.
I got DKC3 and started playing. Dixie was back but...oh no, Diddy was gone! In his place was Dixie's lumbering idiot of a cousin, Kiddy. Who, although similar to Donkey in his weight and actions, was one of the most annoying video game characters I have encountered to date, save for Rinoa from FF8.
He's a big, fat ape baby in a onesie, and when he dies he cries this horrible cry. The only good thing he can do is break things and throw Dixie up in the air. Awful.
The other fault I have with this game is not the difficulty, because it was plenty horrible (Lightning Look-Out strike fear in the hearts of anyone?) and posed enough of a challenge to keep that part of me sated. However, the cutesy, almost bumbling, aura given off of this game was displeasing. Yes, DK games are meant to be silly and cartoon-like, but this one almost pushed the limits. I am not sure if it was because of the changing graphics of games (by this point, both the N64 and the PS1 had launched) but something about the game was no longer crisp. Crisp is the best word I can use to describe how I feel about it.
DKC3: 6/10. Challenging, but that didn't make up for the fail. Banana birds? Come on....
Thus concludes my DKC discussion.
***puppeteered: analogy that something controls your life so much, it is as if the thing has its imaginary (usually) hand up your ass and is keeping tabs on your every move.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
New Additions Bring New Addictions
Since my last post was a long time ago, I feel an update is necessary. No, I did not fall off the face of the planet, I've just been caught up in that whirlwind of life. Lucky for me, that whirlwind contains many new video games, which I feel compelled to discuss.
First of all, I want to talk about Dragon Age: Origins. Although I have not yet finished this one, I've definitely done a lot with it. The game contains a LOT of content, including a lot of nooks, crannies, and suspiciously empty rooms that fill with enemies in a split second.
I began this adventure with a mage, as is my custom, and I was kind of put off at first. The battle system seemed awkward compared to what I was used to with the other games I have played, and it seemed too fast-paced to even survive. This was before I discovered the spacebar "pause" option. Pausing the battle to make tactical decisions was a good idea for this particular game, just because it can be overwhelming with the amount of enemies and traps you are forced to contend with.
As far as looks, the game isn't too bad. Bioware, makers of other games such as KOTOR and Mass Effect, kind of rushed the gun and yes, it has glitches, but overall it's decent. Plus, the hideous amount of things to do and decisions to make makes up for what it may lack.
I'm still running through Hurlocks and spiders, so this will have to be continued...
On to the biggie 2010 Game of the Year contender: Mass Effect 2. I'm going to be completely honest here and say right out I didn't play far into the first one--in fact, I found it to be unsatisfying for all of the crap you had to put up with. However, I decided to give ME2 a chance, and lo, I was kind of addicted.
Kind of might not be the best way to put it...I /was/ addicted, and I sat on my arse for a few days, playing through everything.
Now, I'm going to try and make this as spoiler free as possible, but even though I didn't play the first title, I was engaged and able to understand what was going on throughout. This second installments gives players the option to import the character they beat the first game with, and continue with the decisions they made, carrying into the second. Luckily, you CAN change appearance of characters from game one, which is probably a good idea, since the character creator has undergone some positive changes (although Male Shepard still resembles Vin Diesel no matter how hard you try).
One thing I will say is this game is epic, and perhaps more discussion can be had on the topic in a month, when most people will have beaten it.
The last game I want to talk about here today is Fallout 3. Now, I realize the game has been out for a while, but I am apparently behind the times. I actually didn't know what Fallout was until a few months ago--well, I'd heard of it but I kind of assumed it was like Call of Duty or Splinter Cell, and that it wouldn't hold my interest at all.
So.Not.True.
After a few people gushed and seemed shocked that I hadn't played it, I decided to give it a whirl. The fact that it was described to me as Oblivion with Guns made me interested...and yes, it IS Oblivion with Guns. Big guns.
For all of the glitches and horrors Bethesda crams into their games, and even though I spent hours puzzling over the random shutdowns and "fallout 3 has stopped working" popups, I was determined to fix the problem. Eventually, with the help of google and human ingenuity, this was possible. I was now able to commence playing without wondering if the History Museum would freeze my system. Damn you, history. Damn you <3.
This game really hit a home run with me. I love the cold war propaganda mixed in with the post apocalyptic environment, and the crazy feral ghouls. This game is HUGE and there is SO MUCH TO DO. Unfortunately, like Oblivion, it's way glitchy, and even doing everything right could cause something in the main storyline to just stop working. Despite that little tidbit, the game is quite enjoyable.
The realistic environments and the strange quests kept me riveted (I haven't beaten this game yet, either) and I spent many evenings glued to my monitor, blasting through mutants with more rounds of ammo than should ever exist in a post apocalyptic wasteland.
These were only intros to some of the games I've been exploring while on blog hiatus, and as soon as I get more sleep, I'm going to add more!
First of all, I want to talk about Dragon Age: Origins. Although I have not yet finished this one, I've definitely done a lot with it. The game contains a LOT of content, including a lot of nooks, crannies, and suspiciously empty rooms that fill with enemies in a split second.
I began this adventure with a mage, as is my custom, and I was kind of put off at first. The battle system seemed awkward compared to what I was used to with the other games I have played, and it seemed too fast-paced to even survive. This was before I discovered the spacebar "pause" option. Pausing the battle to make tactical decisions was a good idea for this particular game, just because it can be overwhelming with the amount of enemies and traps you are forced to contend with.
As far as looks, the game isn't too bad. Bioware, makers of other games such as KOTOR and Mass Effect, kind of rushed the gun and yes, it has glitches, but overall it's decent. Plus, the hideous amount of things to do and decisions to make makes up for what it may lack.
I'm still running through Hurlocks and spiders, so this will have to be continued...
On to the biggie 2010 Game of the Year contender: Mass Effect 2. I'm going to be completely honest here and say right out I didn't play far into the first one--in fact, I found it to be unsatisfying for all of the crap you had to put up with. However, I decided to give ME2 a chance, and lo, I was kind of addicted.
Kind of might not be the best way to put it...I /was/ addicted, and I sat on my arse for a few days, playing through everything.
Now, I'm going to try and make this as spoiler free as possible, but even though I didn't play the first title, I was engaged and able to understand what was going on throughout. This second installments gives players the option to import the character they beat the first game with, and continue with the decisions they made, carrying into the second. Luckily, you CAN change appearance of characters from game one, which is probably a good idea, since the character creator has undergone some positive changes (although Male Shepard still resembles Vin Diesel no matter how hard you try).
One thing I will say is this game is epic, and perhaps more discussion can be had on the topic in a month, when most people will have beaten it.
The last game I want to talk about here today is Fallout 3. Now, I realize the game has been out for a while, but I am apparently behind the times. I actually didn't know what Fallout was until a few months ago--well, I'd heard of it but I kind of assumed it was like Call of Duty or Splinter Cell, and that it wouldn't hold my interest at all.
So.Not.True.
After a few people gushed and seemed shocked that I hadn't played it, I decided to give it a whirl. The fact that it was described to me as Oblivion with Guns made me interested...and yes, it IS Oblivion with Guns. Big guns.
For all of the glitches and horrors Bethesda crams into their games, and even though I spent hours puzzling over the random shutdowns and "fallout 3 has stopped working" popups, I was determined to fix the problem. Eventually, with the help of google and human ingenuity, this was possible. I was now able to commence playing without wondering if the History Museum would freeze my system. Damn you, history. Damn you <3.
This game really hit a home run with me. I love the cold war propaganda mixed in with the post apocalyptic environment, and the crazy feral ghouls. This game is HUGE and there is SO MUCH TO DO. Unfortunately, like Oblivion, it's way glitchy, and even doing everything right could cause something in the main storyline to just stop working. Despite that little tidbit, the game is quite enjoyable.
The realistic environments and the strange quests kept me riveted (I haven't beaten this game yet, either) and I spent many evenings glued to my monitor, blasting through mutants with more rounds of ammo than should ever exist in a post apocalyptic wasteland.
These were only intros to some of the games I've been exploring while on blog hiatus, and as soon as I get more sleep, I'm going to add more!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Castlevania64 and Crunchy Pits of Death
Castlevania64 is by no means the best Castlevania around. It may, in fact, be very close to the bottom of the ladder. However, I have a history with the game, so I would like to explain a little more about the things that pissed me off about it.
Ten years ago, the N64 was one of the most important things to my cousins, my friends, and me. We spent many days playing various games on this system, which is probably how we managed to escape Hurley unscathed.
My friend Heather and I decided that Castlevania64 looked interesting one day at Family Video, so we rented it. Choosing the character of Carrie, we set off into the forest to begin the adventure. I am pretty sure we chose Carrie over Reinhardt because she had ranged magic attack and it was easier to pwn baddies from far away. She was also a lot quicker than the Belmont heir, so that was a plus for running away from armies of skeletons (sans Bruce Campbell).
There was a theme with my friends and me, and that was if a game had difficulty settings, we would almost always choose Easy the first time around, just to get a feel for it. So, with Castlevania we did just that.
This game was a pain in the ass. Either you jumped too far or not far enough, and bazillions of skeletons would pop out of the ground and attempt to eat you. Yes, it was awesome to be in this 3-D world, but also incredibly annoying.
Remember how we picked Easy mode? Yeah, it's a big disappointment. Things were going well when suddenly you get to a boss: Carrie's slightly deranged and totally dead cousin. Well, she was easy to kill with the super magic ball attack, but the downfall came post battle.
Congratulations! You've beaten Castlevania on Easy mode! Now try Normal mode for the full game!
....Well hell. We just spent a few hours of our time fending off motorcycle-riding skeletons with flaming heads only to be called out on our easy choice. Fine. We restarted the game on normal mode and went through the crunchy pits of death once more.
The part in this game that pissed me off the most wasn't the obnoxiously fast vampires or the knights that came out of stained glass windows (more on that discovery later) but it was the part in the game where you need to bring the nitro across the entire castle. Since nitro is highly explosive, you are unable to jump or run. Well, that's really fun and effective when you must make your way back through an entire castle filled with bad guys and excessive traps.
Anyone who doesn't have patience for such things needn't bother playing Castlevania64 on anything but easy mode.
The stained glass knights were an interesting development. I walked into a hallway and was assaulted by an assailant I couldn't see. Then, I screamed bloody murder because I discovered that the cause of my diminishing life bar was a set of knights who matched the background perfectly.
This was the one and only time my mother ever questioned me while I was gaming. She yelled up the stairs to my friend and me: "Did someone die?" She was serious.
No mom, I just got a little scared by a few polygonal stained glass window knights.
In the game, there is also a part where you're being chased by a huge guy with a chainsaw and some horribly mean dogs. If you panic easily, I'd avoid that one as well.
Castlevania gets a 4/10 because it is an evil game that is mostly frustration.
Ten years ago, the N64 was one of the most important things to my cousins, my friends, and me. We spent many days playing various games on this system, which is probably how we managed to escape Hurley unscathed.
My friend Heather and I decided that Castlevania64 looked interesting one day at Family Video, so we rented it. Choosing the character of Carrie, we set off into the forest to begin the adventure. I am pretty sure we chose Carrie over Reinhardt because she had ranged magic attack and it was easier to pwn baddies from far away. She was also a lot quicker than the Belmont heir, so that was a plus for running away from armies of skeletons (sans Bruce Campbell).
There was a theme with my friends and me, and that was if a game had difficulty settings, we would almost always choose Easy the first time around, just to get a feel for it. So, with Castlevania we did just that.
This game was a pain in the ass. Either you jumped too far or not far enough, and bazillions of skeletons would pop out of the ground and attempt to eat you. Yes, it was awesome to be in this 3-D world, but also incredibly annoying.
Remember how we picked Easy mode? Yeah, it's a big disappointment. Things were going well when suddenly you get to a boss: Carrie's slightly deranged and totally dead cousin. Well, she was easy to kill with the super magic ball attack, but the downfall came post battle.
Congratulations! You've beaten Castlevania on Easy mode! Now try Normal mode for the full game!
....Well hell. We just spent a few hours of our time fending off motorcycle-riding skeletons with flaming heads only to be called out on our easy choice. Fine. We restarted the game on normal mode and went through the crunchy pits of death once more.
The part in this game that pissed me off the most wasn't the obnoxiously fast vampires or the knights that came out of stained glass windows (more on that discovery later) but it was the part in the game where you need to bring the nitro across the entire castle. Since nitro is highly explosive, you are unable to jump or run. Well, that's really fun and effective when you must make your way back through an entire castle filled with bad guys and excessive traps.
Anyone who doesn't have patience for such things needn't bother playing Castlevania64 on anything but easy mode.
The stained glass knights were an interesting development. I walked into a hallway and was assaulted by an assailant I couldn't see. Then, I screamed bloody murder because I discovered that the cause of my diminishing life bar was a set of knights who matched the background perfectly.
This was the one and only time my mother ever questioned me while I was gaming. She yelled up the stairs to my friend and me: "Did someone die?" She was serious.
No mom, I just got a little scared by a few polygonal stained glass window knights.
In the game, there is also a part where you're being chased by a huge guy with a chainsaw and some horribly mean dogs. If you panic easily, I'd avoid that one as well.
Castlevania gets a 4/10 because it is an evil game that is mostly frustration.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Why Ultimecia is a pain in the ass
Ultimecia, the end boss for FFVIII, is a pain in the ass for a few reasons, the most important one being that she has about six forms for you to slaughter. Not only is that a problem, but she levels up with you; for example, in my crazy gamer scramblings, I decided to level all of my characters in FFVIII to 100 (or close) in the hope that I could just one-shot the final boss.
Ultimecia's castle of crunchy death pits looms on my screen, and I enter the battlefield pretty confident that I can Angelo Cannon my way to victory within minutes.
Hmm. How very wrong and assy of me to think this, I discover, as Ultimecia randomly selects three of my party members to annihilate first. A few minutes in, I am wondering why my beefcaked characters are hardly doing damage to the slutty pixel witch---wait...I bet she levels up with you.
Well, now that more disappointment has set in, one of my characters dies. It's probably Zell, so I continue trying to use my uber fast summons to pwn some sorceress.
Uh oh!
What the hell? Zell has been dead for about two rounds and I am about to phoenix down him when a cherub swoops onto my screen and takes his corpse away. In his place is someone else, probably Irvine, who is another useless character.
They took ZELL? Oh come on, he wasn't so useless that I wanted him gone forever. Sadly, Square made it so that if you don't tend to your dead almost immediately, they are taken away for good, and your numbers dwindle.
So, let's recap.
Ultimecia randomly chooses characters to start off with, she levels up as you do, she has too many forms, and once a character has died for more than thirty seconds, you lose them forever.
But wait--guardian forces (summons) are your most powerful tools besides Invincible Moon and Squall's gunblade techniques. What else could they do to make this a bitch of a fight? That's right, make it so that all forms past two poof kill guardian forces the second you call them.
Eventually, I killed her. It took over an hour, I think, and a lot of crazy decisions.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Final Fantasy XIV: A preliminary review
(http://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/)
I was still playing FFXI Online when FFXIV was discussed at E3. In fact, I was standing in Whitegate at the time, because I remember about thirty people all started shouting about FFXIV and how amazing it is going to be.
Immediately my spirits dropped. This new MMO would most certainly replace XI for almost everyone on Midgard, and it was then that I realized FFXI wasn't as fun anymore. All people could talk about was FFXIV and how awesome the graphics were.
To me, graphics are most certainly not everything. Some of my favorite games have horrible graphics, but their stories are way better than some of the fancy stuff you see around today. Sure, FFXI was really in need of some revamping, but for me it wasn't the look of the game but how it brought people together. How many times did my mithra glitch out in Jeuno or meld into a Galka? Too many times to remember, but it didn't make the game any less enjoyable.
Now, upon hearing about this new FF, I was immediately turned off by the idea. Why? It isn't going to be out until 2010 sometime, and I have hopes that I'll be on track in life by that time. For me, FFXI started as a coping mechanism for a sick breakup; it served it's purpose well, and I didn't need it anymore. I am hoping that by the time FFXIV comes out, I won't need it.
It wasn't until a friend of mine linked me to the new character concept art and names that I finally took a look at this enhanced version of XI.
Way to go SE, you made the graphics pretty and used the SAME races as FFXI, but with new and harder to pronounce names. So far, I am not impressed. Everyone is drawn to the new look at fresh feel of this game, but it's really FFXI with a shiny coat of paint and sparkles (to me, that is).
Friends from FFXI continue to ask me if I will try this new one, and I always tell them no. I already know I do not want to invest as much time as I did in FFXI to level a character all the way up and waste more money on it. I have quit the FF online community for good, I think. Most of my FFXI time was spent having decent conversations with people and playing casually. For me, it was never about the graphics or the style.
So far, I am unimpressed with SE's new toy. I think a lot of people will hop onto the bandwagon because it's pretty, but, until I get more information that will sway me, I'm still saying no to FFXIV.
I was still playing FFXI Online when FFXIV was discussed at E3. In fact, I was standing in Whitegate at the time, because I remember about thirty people all started shouting about FFXIV and how amazing it is going to be.
Immediately my spirits dropped. This new MMO would most certainly replace XI for almost everyone on Midgard, and it was then that I realized FFXI wasn't as fun anymore. All people could talk about was FFXIV and how awesome the graphics were.
To me, graphics are most certainly not everything. Some of my favorite games have horrible graphics, but their stories are way better than some of the fancy stuff you see around today. Sure, FFXI was really in need of some revamping, but for me it wasn't the look of the game but how it brought people together. How many times did my mithra glitch out in Jeuno or meld into a Galka? Too many times to remember, but it didn't make the game any less enjoyable.
Now, upon hearing about this new FF, I was immediately turned off by the idea. Why? It isn't going to be out until 2010 sometime, and I have hopes that I'll be on track in life by that time. For me, FFXI started as a coping mechanism for a sick breakup; it served it's purpose well, and I didn't need it anymore. I am hoping that by the time FFXIV comes out, I won't need it.
It wasn't until a friend of mine linked me to the new character concept art and names that I finally took a look at this enhanced version of XI.
Way to go SE, you made the graphics pretty and used the SAME races as FFXI, but with new and harder to pronounce names. So far, I am not impressed. Everyone is drawn to the new look at fresh feel of this game, but it's really FFXI with a shiny coat of paint and sparkles (to me, that is).
Friends from FFXI continue to ask me if I will try this new one, and I always tell them no. I already know I do not want to invest as much time as I did in FFXI to level a character all the way up and waste more money on it. I have quit the FF online community for good, I think. Most of my FFXI time was spent having decent conversations with people and playing casually. For me, it was never about the graphics or the style.
So far, I am unimpressed with SE's new toy. I think a lot of people will hop onto the bandwagon because it's pretty, but, until I get more information that will sway me, I'm still saying no to FFXIV.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Bad graphics and Mexican pizza.
I have recently picked up Silent Hill for the PlayStation again. I remember sitting around a small TV with my friend, getting some super chills and thrills from this game, because, well, the creepy undead alien babies are trying to eat your flesh and you're running through a creepy and foggy town.
That was then. After picking up the game again after a ten-year hiatus, I must say that the fear factor has greatly diminished (and I am a scaredy cat) because I managed to get only as far as my giggles would take me. This game is really quite horrible, not only because it has the super nasty square people graphics, but the environment that once made me wrap up in a blanket and try to hide just frustrated me because the map was hardly legible.
You begin the game as Harry Mason, confused and stuck in a foggy nightmare town. Upon playing for the second time, I am grateful for the fog because it hides the rest of the town which, I am guessing, would be horribly misshapen and perhaps the worst part of the game. As if the fact that Mr. Mason looks like a child's crayon drawing isn't bad enough, moving him around is even harder. You've got to jam the joystick in an erratic pattern to get him to move in a circle, and this takes about ten seconds per ninety degree pivot, which, when you are being dive-bombed by two or three large bird creatures, usually results in death.
This is especially true if you run out of bullets, of which they give you fifteen. After that, you're stuck with a kitchen knife which you can wave around like a torch. HULK SMASH BABY ALIENS! *poof* Dead, because while you're trying to aim a small kitchen knife at one enemy, four more are behind you, and in Silent Hill time, it would take you an hour to effectively dispose of all of them.
My point here is that the fear that this game once struck into my heart has long since passed, only to be replaced with disappointment and tears. This is a game that I will gladly return to its case and bury. Perhaps someday some kids will stumble upon it and, just like Jumanji, get taken on a horrible adventure, only to find out that this one wasn't a nightmare...
I suppose you're wondering where Mexican pizza falls into this story. Well, it has nothing to do with Silent Hill, but it's a side story involving the release of FFX. Yes, my friend Heather and I picked up FFX the day it came out and proceeded to stay awake for another thirteen-ish hours playing as far into it as we could. The only reasons we stopped were: A.) Her stepdad was going to be getting up for work soon, and we didn't want him to know we had stayed up all night, and B.) the Mexican pizza caused lethargy to set in, from being mixed with uber hours of gaming.
Mexican pizza itself sounds pretty gross, right? Well, right. It was the only pizza they had in the house, and, since I used to live out in the boonies with no hope of pizza delivery, that was the option.
Partially through our FFgasm, hunger set in. What else will gamers eat but pizza and lots of caffeiene. I think at this point we were so hyped up on caffeiene, the fact that the pizza in question was a combination of taco meat and cheap spices didn't faze us.
Well, between the two of us, the pizza disappeared rather quickly. It wasn't until about an hour later the realization of what we had actually eaten had set in. I would just like to say that cheap Mexican pizza is not the friend of anyone who wants to keep their innards intact.
That was then. After picking up the game again after a ten-year hiatus, I must say that the fear factor has greatly diminished (and I am a scaredy cat) because I managed to get only as far as my giggles would take me. This game is really quite horrible, not only because it has the super nasty square people graphics, but the environment that once made me wrap up in a blanket and try to hide just frustrated me because the map was hardly legible.
You begin the game as Harry Mason, confused and stuck in a foggy nightmare town. Upon playing for the second time, I am grateful for the fog because it hides the rest of the town which, I am guessing, would be horribly misshapen and perhaps the worst part of the game. As if the fact that Mr. Mason looks like a child's crayon drawing isn't bad enough, moving him around is even harder. You've got to jam the joystick in an erratic pattern to get him to move in a circle, and this takes about ten seconds per ninety degree pivot, which, when you are being dive-bombed by two or three large bird creatures, usually results in death.
This is especially true if you run out of bullets, of which they give you fifteen. After that, you're stuck with a kitchen knife which you can wave around like a torch. HULK SMASH BABY ALIENS! *poof* Dead, because while you're trying to aim a small kitchen knife at one enemy, four more are behind you, and in Silent Hill time, it would take you an hour to effectively dispose of all of them.
My point here is that the fear that this game once struck into my heart has long since passed, only to be replaced with disappointment and tears. This is a game that I will gladly return to its case and bury. Perhaps someday some kids will stumble upon it and, just like Jumanji, get taken on a horrible adventure, only to find out that this one wasn't a nightmare...
I suppose you're wondering where Mexican pizza falls into this story. Well, it has nothing to do with Silent Hill, but it's a side story involving the release of FFX. Yes, my friend Heather and I picked up FFX the day it came out and proceeded to stay awake for another thirteen-ish hours playing as far into it as we could. The only reasons we stopped were: A.) Her stepdad was going to be getting up for work soon, and we didn't want him to know we had stayed up all night, and B.) the Mexican pizza caused lethargy to set in, from being mixed with uber hours of gaming.
Mexican pizza itself sounds pretty gross, right? Well, right. It was the only pizza they had in the house, and, since I used to live out in the boonies with no hope of pizza delivery, that was the option.
Partially through our FFgasm, hunger set in. What else will gamers eat but pizza and lots of caffeiene. I think at this point we were so hyped up on caffeiene, the fact that the pizza in question was a combination of taco meat and cheap spices didn't faze us.
Well, between the two of us, the pizza disappeared rather quickly. It wasn't until about an hour later the realization of what we had actually eaten had set in. I would just like to say that cheap Mexican pizza is not the friend of anyone who wants to keep their innards intact.
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